mango pudding blues 2.0

THE BEST MEAL I EVER HAD

What was the best meal I ever had? Well, it was a mushroom feast that I ate on Christmas Day, conceived and executed by my excellent brother and his wildly talented boyfriend. They were hosting Killer and I, and dealing, as always, with my rather dreary vegetarianism. I thought this was an excellent solution for a beautiful and lengthy evening of culinary delight, and I asked my brother for the rundown, since I thought the world should know.

I am not employing hyperbole here. I thought about it long and hard afterwards and this really is the best meal I’ve ever had. Here it is, courtesy of my brother:

We opened with
Wild Mushroom Tapenade: Soak half a cup of sun-dried tomatoes (not packed in oil) in warm water for 30 minutes, drain and finely chop. Clean 8 ounces of wild mushrooms (chanterelles, portobello, what-have-you..), cut larger ones in half and drizzle with a quarter teaspoon of salt and 2 tablespoons olive oil. Grill in a shallow pan until browned lightly but not too soft, brushing with two more tablespoons of olive oil. Chop mushrooms into quarter-inch dice and combine with sundried tomatoes, 4 fnely diced shallots, 2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar, one quarter tsp. each brown sugar and pepper flakes. Add a tablespoon of fresh herbs such as basil, cilantro, parsley, before serving as a spread on toast or an accompaniment.

After some socialising and vinous lubrication, we presented
Creme Brulee aux Champignons: Saute a pound of sliced assorted wild mushrooms in 4 tablespoons butter briefly. Add one sliced French shallot and continue to saute until liquid begins to leave mushrooms. Remove mixture with slotted spoon and set aside. Continue cooking the mushroom drippings until reduced by half, add a quarter cup white wine and continue cooking until liquid is reduced by half. Add two cups heavy cream and again reduce by half. Return mushroom mixture to sauce, add two tablespoons chopped fresh herbs, pepper and salt. Cool to room temperature. Meantime, combine 9 ounces grated Parmesan with 9 ounces grated Swiss cheeses. Season generously with ground pepper. Pat mixture into 2-inch rounds on a wax-paper lined cookie sheet, bake at 350 until golden (about 10 minutes). Bring two-thirds cup of maple syrup to a boil until reduced to a syrupy consistency and pale in colour, add 4 drops of balsamic vinegar and two cups of chicken or vegetable broth. Cook until reduced by half. Beat 6 egg yolks and stir into mushroom mixture. Divide among 6 buttered ramekins, set in a pan of water and bake at 350 for 25 minutes. Serve warm topped with a thin layer of maple sauce and cheese tuiles on the side.

After more socialising and vinous lubrication, D brought out the
Grilled Shitake Mushrooms with Garlic Essence: Line a baking sheet large enough to hold 1 pound large shiitakes in a single layer with aluminum foil. Clean mushrooms, remove stems. Sprinkle baking sheet with one third cup of dry white wine and 3 tablespoons Garlic Oil (Make ahead: 16 garlic cloves in 2 cups olive oil heated gently until bubbles form on top, about 5 minutes, remove from heat, add two bay leaves and 1/2 teaspoon whole black peppercorns. Let steep and let cool, preferably for a few hours). Arrange mushrooms stem side up, sprinkle with coarse salt and ground pepper. Bake twenty minutes, turn over mushrooms and bake ten minutes longer. If desired, slice thickly and serve with pan juices. Drizzle with additional garlic oil.

Then, while guests and hosts were continuing the vinous lubrication and socialising, the kitchen prepared
Soya broth with fresh mushroom: Boil up 4 cups of water with 4 Swiss soya broth cubes, pour into 4 japanese bowls which have been prepared with thin slices of fresh mushroom and thinly sliced green onion.

This eventually led to a course from our mushroom repertoire that, although really incredibly delicious, perhaps was too much like the Creme Brulee, but we have no regrets about serving
Porcini Fondue: Heat one cup of Marsala just to boiling and pour over three-quarter cups dried porcini and let stand one hour. Toss eight ounces each of grated Fontina and Swiss cheeses with 2 tablespoons flour. Rub a fondue pot with a halved clove of garlic (I just garlic press it right in so it gets real garlicky). Pour in two cups dry white wine and heat until hot. Add cheese tossed with flour a handful at a time, allowing each addition to melt before the next. Stir in one half cup grated Parmesan or Pecorino. Drain the mushrooms, squeeezing out as much liquid as possible, and chop into fairly fine pieces. Stir mushrooms and two tablespoons Marsala and lots of freshly ground pepper into the fondue. Serve with bread for dipping.

Sated, the company was still able to enjoy
Marzipan Mushrooms D: Find an artist who can take ordinary marzipan, shape it into wild mushrooms and paint mushroom-like blots and smudges on it with food colouring, who can then spread the mushrooms on a plate with bits of pine and ivy branches and sprinkle the lot with icing sugar (snow!) and metallic “hundreds and thousands” (the Brit name for candy sprinkles, which is just right). Serve this work of art to oohs and aaahs. Kiss the artist.

HOUSEKEEPING

Um, our content management system and our internet service provider are not speaking properly to one another these days, so we are experiencing delays in posts. Please be patient. Also, anyone perusing our archives over the holiday season might have been ripped off, as the majority of our weeks of clever posts mysteriously vanished. All have been restored, so please, help yourself.

We are still seeing loads of new visitors, and still have no idea where they’re coming from. We crave their continued presence, though, and we encourage them to drop us a line and let us know what twist of fate brought them here.

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HEY, HEY, GET OUT OF OUR WAY*

Yes, we are back from New York City, so you may stop looking at our alarmingly hippie-ish links. Let’s face it; you weren’t really ready to go deep down those roads, were you?

Herewith, briefly, a few of the things we learned on our short vacation:

1) New York City is nowhere near as insanely great as we make it out to be. No. It is far, far better than that. In fact, we are temporarily speechless about New York City, as we are so in love with it. Maybe we’ll comment on it later.

2) Shuggie Otis? Oh, god yes. Yes.

3) The upstate New York State Trooper is correct about driving during snowstorms; if you drive fast over the areas where wind has drifted snow over black ice, you will lose control of your vehicle and fly, terrifyingly, into the ditch.

4) In the event of #3 above, you will be so shaken that you will forget about your free 24-hour roadside assistance plan and end up paying someone 50 U.S. dollars to tow you out of the ditch.

5) However, you will marvel at how quickly you get outta the ditch and back on the road and survive the whole ordeal apparently unscathed, and you will amuse yourselves for many miles to come by pantomiming tableaux of your terrified faces and raised arms in the seconds of the crash.

6) Veuve Clicquot Champagne’s ice-bucket box is a gimmick, but it’s a delightful gimmick.

*Canadian schoolyard chant, usually practiced in a group with linked arms who would sweep through the schoolyard, scattering all the littler kids: “Hey, hey, get out of our way. We just got back from the USA.”

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